Goal Setting with my Kids

A few weeks ago, I was hosting our Pregnant Pause event and I asked the group of 40 expectant couples in the audience how many of them were first-time parents.Based on their show of hands, I was in awe to find out that all, except for one, were on their way to becoming moms and dads for the very first time. Seeing the blooming pregnant moms and excited expectant dads before me, brought me back to the time when I was in their shoes.17 years ago, I, too was a first time expectant mom, eager in ‘infanticipation’, and studiously preparing for my new role. I’d say all my pre-birth preparations paid off, but there were still moments as a new mom I felt I was like a girl scout who was “laging handa” and armed with the right knowledge and tools, but still thrust into a survival training camp where there were always factors beyond your control and I would get easily overwhelmed.If my issues back then would comprise of concerns like building my supply of breastmilk, making sure the baby’s bathing water was not too hot nor too cold, or getting enough sleep amidst the feeding and nappy changing, mommy challenges have considerably shifted now to school stuff, managing curfews, monitoring gadget use, and the very nerve-wracking, sometimes heart-wrenching, concerns on relationships with the opposite sex. (cue teeth chatter here…)As they say, once a mom, you’re a mom forever, and motherhood will always come with different kinds of challenges, it just changes in number, shape and form, per stage and age of our kids.With life now raising 2 teens and a 7 year old, there is still as much as love, laughter, fun and togetherness at home as when they were babes. There are certainly those joyous days when feel I am doing a great job as a mom and I’ve listened intently to them and said the perfect things and words of advice. Then there are also those days I feel I could have done a better job like when I lose my temper or am too distracted, specially when I’ve had a tiring day and my patience is just not at the usual levels. What can we do on days like the latter? Well, just chalk it up to experience, make amends if needed, learn from whatever happened and try to do better next time. In other words, dust yourself off and try again. There’s always room to learn, grow and improve. So in striving to always be better, I’ve set this goal for me and my family which we will work on the coming months.My Goal: TO HELP MY KIDS LIVE MORE ACTIVE & INVOLVED LIVES, AFFECTING OTHERS POSITIVELY.Since my boys are already in their teens, my hope for my sons is that they strive to become the best version of themselves, but going beyond the “usual goals” set for people their age, such as getting good grades or winning the next sports competition. With the right guidance and opportunities for involvement, I want to bring them on an exciting journey of self- discovery. How awesome it would be for them to find out what makes them deeply happy, recognize what passions drive them to do their best, and from here take their first steps towards discovering their purpose in their young lives.For my eldest who is a junior in high school, it is perfect timing since he is thinking of career options so he can decide on what course to apply for in college next year. For my second son who just entered grade 9 in a new school, he is in a fresh environment where he is a wide-eyed learner with so much creative energy to harness.We will of course not exclude my 7-year old daughter who is just as capable of using her pure and happy spirit to inspire even just her BFFs. Planting the seeds of being a positive influencer (even in preschool!) works best if done on such fertile ground☺In the coming weeks, I would like them to hopefully learn simple but powerful life lessons such as:- living an active and involved life (not only physically active, but emotionally involved)- caring for themselves and their own well-being gives them the resources and energy to go for their goals (sleeping well, eating well, to start their days right)- nurture your talents not only for your own benefit but knowing how you can use it for bigger purposes (to give of their time and talent for a bigger purpose)- the power of their words and actions- being aware of what they do and say can affect others positively, and even create change (to live with an awareness beyond themselves)I know and understand that sometimes being indifferent and distant is normal for their age and we as parents should also give them the space they need. I’ll just need to balance this with a little push or nudge because I am so inspired by 18-year old Alex and Brett Harris, twin brothers and co-authors of a “revolutionary” book entitled “Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations”. Together, Alex and Brett have been leading a movement among their peers. They've been spreading the message to their fellow teens reminding them that even at their age, they have the power to make big differences and changes in the world, if they just use their time, talents and energy well. The Harris brothers have made a strong statement among their peers that being young is not a “vacation from responsibility”.Sometimes, and I am guilty of this too, we do tend to underestimate our children by limiting what they can actually and truly achieve usually based on their age. Since we are nurturing and protective, the expectations we have of our children is to do well in school, eat properly, play, attend their activities, get enough sleep. Surely there are many more things they can already actually do that are bigger than themselves, and may have more meaning and impact.So we start on this goal as a family. My husband Gary and I with the same readiness as when we were new parents, with new challenges to conquer, and our kids right by our side.We take on this goal together with Quaker Oats' . I am proud and honored to have been selected as a one of the Quaker Supermoms along with Jaymie Pizarro (who also happens to be my sister) and Kris De Guzman.Track my posts through the next few months as my family and I journey on in reaching our goal to live happier, healthier and more energy and passion-filled lives.